When people found out I was pregnant, everyone was excited except for me. I was filled with fear. We needed to choose a gynecologist, but it seemed like our only option was a male doctor. My husband insisted on someone working in a hospital rather than a small clinic. Going to a male gynecologist was difficult for me at first, but I got used to it over time. I noticed that many women who came there were usually close to 40 years old, making me the youngest one.
The nurses didn't speak English, and all the documents were in Chinese. Since I didn't know Chinese, my husband always had to accompany me. Fortunately, the doctor knew some English. The pregnancy went smoothly, except for maybe 2-3 weeks in the beginning when I felt like I was about to die, haha. Comparing myself to the other women I saw, I felt relatively good. I couldn't help but wonder why some of them walked in a peculiar way and seemed to be in pain.
I remained very active throughout my pregnancy, walking, cleaning, and doing whatever I wanted, especially indulging in sweet treats. My mother-in-law believed I shouldn't do too much and should only rest. Living with them at the time made me feel quite controlled, as I always had to inform them of my whereabouts, which made me feel restricted. In the last weeks, about a month before giving birth, our doctor had to take a month-long leave. This sudden change of doctors was stressful for me, but fortunately, the replacement doctor turned out to be better. He spoke English very well and although he used many professional terms I couldn't understand, he always explained things thoroughly. As childbirth approached, I had to spend more and more time in the hospital. The hospital was only 1 km away from our place, which was amazing because back in Poland, the nearest hospital was 35 km away.
It was already 2 days past my due date when I woke up at midnight with pain, but I initially ignored it as I had been experiencing contractions for the past few days. Around 4 am, I woke up my husband, telling him that I was going into labor. He seemed very stressed and woke up his parents, while I calmly got dressed and had breakfast. We went to the hospital, and the security guard repeatedly asked if I needed a wheelchair, but I thought walking would be better, even though people kept looking at me strangely.
I waited in the room, and the nurses came to check on me a few times. I asked for painkillers, but they thought it was too early. Well, it turned out it wasn't. Suddenly, they realized it was too late for painkillers, and it was time to give birth. I was crying and begging my husband for help. By around 10 am, everything was finished, and I was moved to a normal room. Before giving birth, they asked if I accepted visitors or not. I didn't want any, but it seemed like my husband either didn't translate it or the hospital didn't pay attention because a few minutes later, my mother-in-law showed up. Normally, I was supposed to stay in the hospital for 3 days, but I left a day earlier. According to the doctor and nurses, I was the most active woman who had just given birth.
The postpartum room usually accommodates four people. Each person has a bed and an additional chair that can also be opened as a bed for someone staying with them. There are curtains around each bed to provide privacy, but unfortunately, our curtain couldn't fully close, so people passing by always ended up watching me, which was really annoying. Another annoying thing was that my parents-in-law came to see me on the first and second day. On the second day, they stayed with me the whole day because my husband couldn't be there. I just wanted to be alone and rest at that time.
Finally, I was able to go back home, but our son still needed to stay in the hospital for one more week to ensure everything was okay.
Zuo yuezi - Postpartum centers in Taiwan
Actually, women in Taiwan don't go back home right after giving birth. They stay in postpartum centers, which feel more like going to prison to me, haha. Women are supposed to stay in bed for the entire month to recover. These postpartum centers nowadays look more like five-star hotels. There are nearly 200 registered postpartum centers around Taiwan, but staying in these places is quite expensive, costing an average of 120,000 NTD. In recent years, over 50% of women in Taiwan have chosen to stay in postpartum centers. In these centers, parents can only visit their baby for a short while during feeding time, and the baby can only be watched through a window.
The rest of the women are taken care of at home by their mother-in-law. However, even staying home with the mother-in-law can feel like being in prison at times. Women are advised not to wash their hair, take a bath, or go outdoors, although I didn't really care about those restrictions. Some foods are believed to be better during this time. Fortunately for me, I could eat and do whatever I wanted. We stayed at home, and I took my few days old baby for short walks nearly every day. People think I'm really strong, but I believe that women should take care of themselves and their babies.
Dos and don'ts of pregnancy and labor in Chinese culture
- Placing sharp objects like knives or scissors on the bed is believed to cause a cleft lip in the baby.
- Touching anything with glue is thought to result in birthmarks.
- Eating "cold" food is believed to keep the Yin and Yang balanced.
- Eating pineapple is believed to cause a miscarriage.
- The father is typically not present during delivery.
- The first few days after childbirth, women are advised to stay in bed.
- Washing hair in the first month is discouraged to avoid getting a headache.
- Taking a shower is not allowed in the first month as it is believed that water can enter the body through the loosened skin.
- Brushing teeth is thought to loosen teeth and make gums bleed.
- Eating "hot" foods is believed to increase breast milk production, while "cold" foods and fruits should be avoided.
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