31 May 2018

AMWF couple: After one year together

It's already one year in Taiwan, a little over a year since we met. My life changed a lot: moved out to Taiwan, got married, live with my parents-in-law, pregnancy... That was too much in so short time and most of things I didn't plan!

Not long after I came to Taiwan (about 2 weeks) we moved in to parents-in-law house. It's never a good idea, but when you have no choice... Life together is complicated, we have our own room but for example kitchen we need to share together. In the beginning my husband didn't work, I didn't see much chance of work (people normally speak only Chinese).

We got married pretty early, it was just July 6, 2017. We didn't have ceremony and everything looks not like I imagined. He didn't even wear nice clothing, in Poland even if you don't have normal ceremony, people would dress much better. It seemed like I was the only one that cared. 
We only needed to signature document. To be honest I can't be sure what I signature because they don't have English version! They also didn't speak English at all... The only thing I knew was the documents I needed to prepare from Poland and embassy. That was a lot of documents to do! Translations and legalisations of everything... 
I still want wedding dress and beautiful pictures in the future, because there will be no other memory if this moment.



For every woman (or most of them) the night after marriage is also important. Who can destroy it better than mother-in-law?? Yes, she destroyed it... She calls him, even we live I. The same house and it was like 5 minutes after we enter our room! She did it many times but this time I asked him to don't answer and turn his phone off but he couldn't did it. So the mood of newly married couple disappeared and I went sleep crying which he couldn't understand what is wrong with answering phone from his mother.

Since that time I don't really like her, although I try my best to be nice. We live together so it's better to get along. I don't have good con tact with all his family, especially his cousins doesn't seems to like me. Maybe only his aunts and uncles are always happy to see me and try to talk even I don't understand much of Chinese. 

Not long after our marriage we get to know that I'm pregnant. We was doing my health exam for the visa and made sure it's true. Everyone seems to be happy but not me. I don't feel happy to live here, having baby at this moment isn't a good idea at all. 

August 30, 2017 we back to Poland for a 2 weeks to do some paper work. I didn't told my family that I got married, changed my surname and I'm pregnant. I don't want questions now, when I still don't feel happy with my life. 
I'm only happy I can finally change my surname to my husband's. It's part of tradition in Poland, which he also can't understand. In Taiwan no one changes surname, so on  Taiwanese documents there is only an old one.



November 2017, it was my first birthday without my family. Even I didn't really celebrate before, seeing them around was pretty happy. Now I'm far away, staying with oarents-in-law and my husband at work. He seemed to forget, didn't send message at all. I cooked as usual, mother-in-love gave me bouquet of flowers today, it was really nice and I felt like part of family. My husband back from work and brought a cake, I was totally surprised because I used to think he doesn't even remember. 
The next morning wasn't that happy. I went downstairs to make his breakfast and noticed my flowers all was cut and put in many places... My flowers! How did she dare to do that?? My mother-in-law only said sorry after he talked with her, they don't even notice where the problem is. 

It's just few weeks left and I'm going to born our son. My parents-in-law sometimes are over caring which makes me try to don't meet then if possible. Although one time I went outside and my father-in-law locked the door. I couldn't go inside at all... Fortunately only a few minutes. Of course my husband thinks it's not a big deal but I'm close to due day and it wasn't very safe. Besides his father have seen my outside, yet closed the door (garden door only lock from inside). 

Few days before brown baby I told my husband I don't want anyone visit me in hospital. He couldn't understand my decision but in the end agreed.
It was night when I started to feel pain, which I still could ignore for some time. I woken him up early morning, I didn't feel hurry to hospital haha 
After about 5 hours we already welcomed our baby on April 9, 2018. Our son needed stay few days in hospital for observation.  



I don't know how it is to born baby in Poland and all the hospital stuff. In Taiwan they didn't want to let him go inside, although no one speak English so in the end he still stays with me all the time. In the beginning they asked if I allow anyone to visit me, I didn't want but in the end I still see his family there... I know they care about me, but I would prefer my husband and his family really cares little more what I want.
Normally woman would stay 3+ days in hospital. I've seen a lot of woman still in pain and almost doesn't move from their beds. I was totally different and even nurses and doctor feel amazing haha. That's why I could left hospital a little earlier than normal.

Choosing baby's name can be annoying. My husband said that baby can only have Chinese name because we are in Taiwan. That wasn't true and he have officially two names, Polish and Chinese. I wish he knew that earlier so I wouldn't need to annoy him with "choose the sound similar to Polish name". There is also another weird thing about it... Every name has meaning and we needed visit someone predict the future by the name. That had a lot of influence on our choice, same as seems his mother did. I don't like this culture, even choosing the name isn't really free. Now I don't like his Chinese name and guess will never use it... Even the sound of this name isn't what I expected to be.

In the end of April we moved out to another city. That was most difficult part in my life in Taiwan to live with his parents and I hope it will never happen again. For my husband it was very difficult trying to make me and his mother happy in the same time. 

I get used to live in Taiwan but still really miss my family and my pets. Since I'm here, I don't have any pet. Now I'm busy with my baby but still I would want to have any soon. A countryside girl living in a city, that's difficult...
I met some people here, but I'm not good making friends. And most of the time I feel like my husband push me to meet people. I know he wants good for me, but mostly he will keep talking and everyone ignores me again... Being alone seems better than feeling lonely among others.
It's already 9 months since I was in Poland last time and still few more months to wait... Christmas time still far away!



I tried to know better different traditions, staying with parents-in-law I've seen the celebration of Middle Autumn Festival, Lunar New Year, Sweeping Tomb Day and some others mire and less important traditions. I always take pictures of what they are doing, but usually they just put table in different places full of food and pray to Gods. They have Buddha Room where they pray every morning and evening. Also for some occasions they will bring food to there to pray to gods and ancestors. I also join them usually or at least spend time there without praying. Sometimes they would do the same in the kitchen or even outside which I don't understand much. Many of people also burn lucky money and the smoke goes everywhere...

For Lunar New Year family visit each other. It's the biggest festival in Taiwan and people have a few days off to celebrate. It's not like our Christmas and people wouldn't cook plenty of food and celebrate together. Usually they only have cookies with tea, share some gifts or money and always visit family. 
Middle Autumn Festival is a barbeque time. Family and friends will meet in this period and barbeque together which I don't feel much special. Some other traditions I already introduced in other posts like Lantern Festival.
Now living far away I'll not know much and doesn't watch anymore different celebrations except for some bigger events when we will back to his hometown. 

Many times I also join them for afternoon tea. My husband always worked and they would ask me to spend time with them. Sometimes I would make cookies or pancakes and share with them also. Only his mother knows some English words but I tried to speak few Chinese words as well, especially when communicate with his father. 


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I'll try update Christmas time and after 2 years of my life in Taiwan.

4 comments:

  1. Dopiero dzisiaj zajrzałam na Twój blog. Mam nadzieję, ze teraz gdy mieszkacie z dala od rodziny męża, sytuacja trochę się poprawiła, że znalazłaś już swoich znajomych i że Maleństwo daje ci dużo powodów do radości.
    Daj znać jakbyś chciała pogadać, w końcu jestem żoną Tajwańczyka już od 23 lat i mieszkam na Tajwanie już 17 lat. Trzymaj się.

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    Replies

    1. Mieszkajac samemu jest duzo lepiej, przynajmniej sie nie klocimy. Co do znajomych, to nie jest az tak latwo, choc statnio tez poznalam jedna Polke, ale niedlugo przeprowadzka na drugi koniec kraju, wiec znowu bez znajomych.
      Juz bardzo dlugo tu pani mieszka. Jak mozemy sie skontaktowac? Dobrze by bylo czasami z kims porozmawiac. Pozdrawiam.

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    2. Już do Ciebie napisałam na FB :-)

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